Interesting times we live in.
We are all in survival mode and the post Covid era is truly showing itself. We've survived the past two and a half years of life not only with courage, forethought and new ideas to get through every day, but also with loss. With anger. With despair and trauma. We have hidden sadness. We have chosen to march through the deepest trenches and unbelievably trying and testing situations as though this was our last battle. One step at a time through this bleak landscape that has changed the world as we know it. Survivors in the truest sense of the word.
What we are now feeling (collectively) is a sense of the long term damage from the battle. PTSD as you may.We are weary and exhausted. Our energy levels have run dry and we need to replenish these to forge on ahead. It is easier said than done - the thought that the end of the year is upon us brings along a sigh of relief. But also a "what the f*#@ will next year bring "
I have taken many bullets in this war and feel like I am bleeding out. Slowly. My solution to the Covid survival was the best I could under the circumstances. Grin and bear it - make a plan and get through everyday with as little damage as possible. Keep my head down and survive. But I didn't notice the damage. The physical, mental and emotional damage that I have been carrying in order to survive this. I bottled everything up and now my battle scars are showing.
I need to rest and breathe again. Fuck. Just to breathe again and fill my lungs with happiness. With laughter and joy. With a smile in my heart. The trauma and grief are overwhelming at times. I am trying my best to 'see the light' and the point of this journey. But I am seeking help as I need to. I am reaching out to those that care the most.
And I implore you to do the same. Ask for help - don't be afraid. We are all in this together.
Namaste
Paul
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